All Money Heist fans will agree that Monica’s romantic relationship with Denver is a clear example of Stockholm syndrome. In fact, she was even named Stockholm in the show. Stockholm syndrome is a psychological response in which the victim shares a positive attachment with his or her abuser. This is an example of a trauma bond.

Other examples might be going through an abusive relationship or following a leader or a certain cult. Trauma bonds are the bonds that form between the victim of abuse and the abuser. For good mental health and well-being, it is imperative that we break free from these painful bonds. Psychiatrist Dr Pawan S spoke to Health Shots and highlighted the types of trauma bonds and how to get rid of them.

What is a trauma bond?

A trauma bond refers to a strong emotional connection between people who have experienced intense, often traumatic, situations and the person who inflicted these situations on them. “These bonds can occur in a variety of relationships, including romantic partnerships, family relationships, friendships, or abusers. They are characterized by a complex interplay of emotions such as fear, dependence, loyalty and a distorted sense of attachment,” explains Dr Pavan.

Different aspects of trauma bonds

All trauma bonds have exactly these two characteristics.

1. Cyclic nature

Traumatic relationships often follow a cyclical pattern, where periods of intense emotional intimacy and bonding are interspersed with episodes of conflict, abuse, or betrayal. This chakra can create a sense of unpredictability and keep people stuck in a relationship.

2. Power Imbalance

Trauma bonds often involve a power imbalance where one person has significant control or influence over the other. This power dynamic perpetuates feelings of helplessness and dependency, making it difficult for the victim to break free from the bond.

Key Signs of Trauma Bonds

1. Intense emotional attachment

People in trauma bonds often feel deeply connected to their abuser or the person they are bonding with, despite experiencing harm or abuse.

2. Difficulty leaving the relationship

Even when sufferers recognize its harmful dynamics, leaving the relationship can be challenging.

Also Read: The Right Way To Break Up With A Toxic Partner: Psychiatrist Advises

3. Rationalizing abuse

They may rationalize or minimize the other person’s abusive behavior, blame themselves, or believe that the abuser’s actions are justified.

4. Isolation from support systems

Abusers may manipulate victims into isolating themselves from friends, family members, or other sources of support, further strengthening the bond. Often they end up in toxic relationships and can’t get out of it.

Why do trauma bonds develop?

Trauma bonds develop due to the following factors:

1. Repeated exposure to trauma

People who experience ongoing trauma or abuse may develop bonds with their perpetrators as a coping mechanism.

2. Attachment requirements

People with unmet emotional needs or insecure attachment styles are more likely to form trauma bonds for validation and connection.

3. Manipulation and control

Abusers often use tactics such as gaslighting, love bombing, and intermittent reinforcement to manipulate and control their victims, instilling a sense of dependence and subservience.

The freeze response is a normal reaction to injury. “This is where people become immobilized or paralyzed by perceived danger,” explains Dr. Pavana. This is one of the body’s natural survival mechanisms, designed to protect against further harm by reducing movement and attracting less attention.

How to break the bond of injury?

Breaking the trauma bond requires careful and deliberate steps to regain autonomy and establish healthy relationship dynamics. Here are some key steps:

1. Recognize reality

Recognize and accept that the relationship was unhealthy and harmful, and acknowledge the impact it had on your well-being.

2. Seek support

Reach out to trusted friends, family members, or mental health professionals who can provide validation, empathy, and practical help.

3. Set boundaries

Establish clear boundaries with the person you are in a relationship with and firmly communicate your needs and expectations.

4. Focus on self-care

Prioritize self-care activities that enhance your physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being, such as exercise, mindfulness, hobbies, and relaxation techniques.

5. Create a safety plan

Develop a safety plan that outlines steps to protect yourself in the event of an emergency or abuse escalates, including access to resources such as shelters or hotlines.

6. Build a support network

Cultivate connections with supportive people and communities who can provide encouragement, validation, and companionship as you navigate the healing process.

7. Seek treatment and healing

Engage in therapy or counseling to explore underlying trauma, address negative beliefs and patterns, and develop healthy coping strategies and relationship skills.