Signs of pathological lying and how to deal with them

June 11, 2024

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Pathological liars find it difficult to control their lies, and it can affect relationships. We will tell you how to recognize pathological liars and ways to deal with them.

Lying is common place. Sometimes, this is something people do for personal gain, and some people do it to avoid punishment or negative consequences of an actual event. But there are people who cannot control lying and do it repeatedly for no apparent reason. This behavior is called pathological lying, which can be caused by a personality disorder, as it tells you how to recognize pathological liars and ways to deal with them.

What does it mean to be a pathological liar?

In everyday life, people often use the term pathological liar to describe people who lie, mostly for their own benefit. But from a scientific point of view, such people are not labeled as pathological liars. Pathological lying, also known as pseudologia fantastica, refers to people who find it difficult to control lying and lie frequently without any apparent reason, purpose or gain, says psychiatrist Dr Rakesh Kumar Chadha. This behavior is seen in people for many years and sometimes a lifetime.

A pathological liar
Pathological liars may experience impaired performance. Image courtesy: Freepik

Also, pathological lying is not an illness. But it may be described as an unusual behavior or symptom. It may occur as a symptom in those with personality disorders (histrionic or narcissistic or borderline).

About 13 percent of participants in a 2020 study identified themselves as pathological liars or indicated that others did. A study published in Psychiatric Research & Clinical Practice The journal also showed that people identified as pathological liars experienced more distress and impaired functioning than those who did not perceive themselves as pathological liars.

How to detect pathological lying?

Pathological liars can be distinguished based on the content or process of lying.

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  • He or she tells stories about extreme, unusual, small, or improbable events in which they were involved, including elaborate, unsolicited, colorful, fantastical, dramatic narratives or details.
  • When confronted the person may become defensive, avoid questions, or provide vague answers.
  • They tend to contradict themselves.
  • They may appear anxious and distressed while lying.

Why are some people pathological liars?

A pathological liar imagines untrue stories and always wants to convey his or her lies. It provides inner satisfaction to these people, says the expert. May have a history of childhood trauma or abuse. The individual is able to live with the past ambiguous or humiliating event through denial and resorts to creating false narratives in the form of pathological lying, which provides him or her with a form of satisfaction.

Check it out: Take this quiz to see if someone is a pathological liar!

How to deal with pathological lying?

Pathological liars have no remorse for how their lies affect others. Although pathological liars can relate to people, it is very difficult for them to maintain an honest and healthy relationship. This leads to toxic relationships that cause stress and pain to the people around them.

A pathological liar in a toxic relationship
Pathological liars cannot maintain healthy relationships. Image courtesy: Shutterstock

Here are ways to deal with pathological lying:

1. Limit interaction

Engaging in arguments or arguments with a pathological liar is exhausting and unproductive. Because their lies are often deeply ingrained, trying to reason with them can escalate tensions or lead to further manipulation. Limiting interaction can help maintain emotional well-being and prevent unnecessary conflict, the expert says.

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2. Stay grounded

Pathological liars excel at distorting reality and blurring the lines between fact and fiction. Therefore, it is important to understand your own truth and not to be deceived by their fraudulent stories or narratives.

3. Set boundaries

Establishing clear boundaries is essential to protecting yourself from the emotions that come with interacting with a pathological liar. Communicate your limits firmly and firmly, but understand that they may not respect these boundaries because of their compulsive lying behavior.

4. Disassemble as needed

Pathological liars often react defensively when confronted about their lies, resorting to manipulation tactics or verbal aggression to deflect accountability. Recognizing and choosing to engage when conversations become unproductive or negative can prevent further emotional harm or conflict, Dr. Chadha says.

5. Manage expectations

Managing your expectations is important when dealing with pathological lying. Recognize that their lying behavior does not change even with intervention or confrontation. Accepting this reality can help you navigate interactions with them more effectively and reduce feelings of frustration or disappointment.

6. Encourage professional help

Recommending therapy or counseling for pathological lying is a compassionate and constructive approach. Consulting a professional can help them explore the underlying psychological causes of their lying behavior and develop healthy coping mechanisms. However, it is important to approach this suggestion with sensitivity and respect, as it may prevent them from recognizing their behavior or seeking help.

What are the treatment options?

Early detection is important to break a pattern of lying. Although conducting a psychiatric diagnostic assessment is worthwhile, getting these individuals into psychiatric care is challenging. Psychotherapy such as cognitive behavior therapy or dialectical behavior therapy, counseling and family support can help. There are no medications for symptomatic lying.

Pathological lying is a behavior that is part of a personality disorder. There are no formal treatments for this, but treatments may help symptomatic liars.

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